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In This World and the Next Chapter 7

Dark Dungeons: play a ninja
Yes, there's more. There are 26 chapters of this dreck.

Ginny couldn't help but stare at the letter that temptingly offered her a faint hope of sanctuary, deep down inside she knew it would never come to pass. Auntie Muriel wouldn't allow it and her mother was going to explode the instant she discovered who had bought the Burrow.

Since we have a huge rambling internal monologue between now and the letter's contents being revealed, they really don't need to be introduced yet. Have Ginny mull over how wonderful the ITWATN versions of Harry and Hermione are, then read the letter: it'd flow a lot better.

She had her eyes well and truly opened by her mother's outrageous reaction to Harry Potter, though surprisingly it was Hermione Potter who drastically changed Ginny's outlook on the world.
Her mother had been teaching Ginny to cook, clean and sew as if that was all there was to a witch's life, the woman had the future all mapped out for her only daughter. Find the right man, preferably the aforementioned famous Harry Potter, settle down and play house while raising her grandbabies. For more than one reason, their visit to Hogwarts had blown that pipedream into tiny little pieces.

So she got her "I don't need to be subservient to the men in my life" epiphany from watching ITWATN!Hermione, presumably as an example of what not to do. And yes, Molly Weasley the veteran resistance fighter raises her daughter to be a walking stereotype of the 19th century. I don't think so, somehow.

Ginny had watched in wonder as Hermione Potter had defeated not only her mother, but Percy and then physically floored Ron.

Because overpowering a bunch of unarmed people with magic is such an achievement. I'll grant that Ginny doesn't know that Hermione is actually one of the most powerful witches in the Potterverse (except when faced with a shit wizard) who's just inhabiting the body of an eleven/twelve-year-old, but that's still no excuse.

She now understood that the mother she'd considered to be a powerful witch was nothing more than domineering women who bullied weaker people.

Like poor woobie Bellatrix. (And, speaking of Bellatrix, "domineering bully" and "powerful witch" are hardly mutually exclusive.) And how is this version of Molly any different at all from ITWATN!Harry and Hermione?

Hermione was no stay at home wife, rather a full partner in a marriage who was going to be at her husband's side, facing everything that came their way together.

And Paradigm of Uncertainty is indeed excellent. Unfortunately, this is ITWATN.

Ginny was currently holding an invitation to stay with her friend and meet the girl who made such a big impression on her. Hermione Potter was awesome, though as the wife of the boy who lived, Ginny supposed she should have expected no less.
With a voice that could do as much nerve damage as a Cruciatus curse, her Auntie Muriel was on her case, again!
"Ginevra, it's rude enough of you to receive post at the dinner table, but to then read it while everyone is still eating is the height of bad manners. If the letter is so important that it couldn't wait, then you should share it with the entire company."

The only characters who've been remotely IC so far have been introduced in books the author claims to hate: first Umbridge, and now Muriel. She presents no threat to Ginny in this scene, because with Arthur and Molly still there she's got no authority over her. You'd be forgiven for not realising that, however, since the author has apparently taken scene-setting tips from Hogwarts Exposed and plonked the dinner table down on the FPODD.

She never got to say any more as the voice actually increased in its power to inflict pain, "Absolutely not! It's going to take me all my time to instruct you on how to behave like a proper young lady without you undoing all my good work by cavorting around the countryside with that Lovegood girl. For her own sake, that child should be placed in an orphanage. Xeno Lovegood couldn't raise dandelions in his garden, far less a daughter. You will not be spending time with that girl ever again."
Ginny had tears slowly running down her cheeks, "May I be excused?"
Muriel was merciless, "No you may not! We don't waste food in this house. You will finish your dinner and then assist with the washing-up. It's time for you to grow up, we should already be looking to get you betrothed."

If it's so unremarkable for Harry and Hermione to be married at their age, and Ginny is being raised for marriage, why isn't she already bethrothed?

Ginny was trying to get hold of herself, "Luna met the people who bought the Burrow," everyone was now silent as their eyes were glued to the littlest Weasley, awaiting the news. None of them were prepared for what came next. "It was the Potters!"
There was mayhem until Bill shouted them down, "Quiet!"
Percy couldn't let it go though, "But Bill, they stole our home!"
"They didn't steal anything and, had you said that in public, mum and dad could have ended up in court.

I know pre-reform defamation law was a clusterfuck, but I still don't think Arthur and Molly could be dragged up for something Percy said.

Ron still didn't get the point,

Damn that Ron! He's evil because... why's he evil again? Even if Chapter 1 wasn't seven years in his possible future, he doesn't have any real motivation there, so comes across less as a villain and more as an automaton executing the will of the author. It shows how he's supposed to be evil, but not why, when it's the "why" that's more interesting.

"But they're living in our house!"
It was a still tearful Ginny who answered him, "Our house is completely gone, Luna said they removed every trace of it and are building from scratch."
There were now tears in almost every eye at that revelation, the Burrow held a lot of happy memories for all of them, there was no going back now.

I'm guessing the author's disclaimer "not for Weasley fans" was because he wanted to write the Weasleys as bad without going to the effort of actually showing them to be bad. I suppose if you're coming into this already disliking them, this scene reads as them getting their comeuppance for whatever it is you think they deserve it for. I'm not, and ITWATN so far hasn't convinced me, so I just feel sorry for them instead.

It was a jovial breakfast in the Granger house, Emma had thought the location of their new home was beautiful and had immediately fell in love with Luna. Her mothering instinct had kicked into high gear at first sight of the little blond waif, and yet when Luna smiled she was pure sunshine that lightened your heart.

The author really seems to like Luna considering that, again, she was introduced in a book he hates.

Sirius had taken a fair bit of ribbing as 'Stubby', he was so shocked by Luna's autograph request that the marauder let slip he'd used his likeness of the star to woo the 'occasional' young lady. Harry had literally been rolling on the ground with laughter.

It's not that funny.

The group had just entered the Leaky Cauldron when they heard someone calling their names, a hyper-excited Luna practically pounced on them. "What are you doing here? My friend Ginny is coming to live with me, isn't that great? Hermione, why have you got your wand out?"

When I say he likes Luna, it doesn't necessarily mean he writes her IC. After all, he supposedly likes Harry and Hermione too. I really don't see Luna as the glomping type. What's she doing in the Leaky Cauldron, anyway?

Hermione had spotted Molly Weasley and her wand was in her hand without conscious thought on her part, "It's simple Luna, that woman has twice tried to accost my husband, there will not be a third time!"

Unfortunately, Molly has hired a shit wizard as her bodyguard so Hermione is powerless to do anything.

Hermione's eyes contained a fierceness that frightened anyone who saw her. Dan was likening it to a western movie as people were quickly cleared a path between his daughter and that woman. He turned to his wife and couldn't believe what he saw, mild mannered Emma Granger was like a coiled spring, ready to pounce on the Weasley woman. Dan wrapped his arm around her waist, "Easy honey, the kids have this under control."
Her eyes were smouldering as Emma growled, "She makes one move toward them and she's mine!"

The author seems to be overcompensating for Hermione's portrayal in the earlier chapters and yet still doesn't give his female characters a real chance to be badass. There's no big fight scene here; it just looks like none of them can keep their emotions under control. Which isn't a sexist stereotype at all. Oh, wait.

The sheer emotion in her voice left Dan wondering whether to be frightened or ask the proprietor if he had a vacant bedroom to let as soon as the kids headed off to school. He was currently leaning heavily toward the second option, this was a side of his wife he'd never seen before and he liked it, Dan liked it a lot!

Um, okay, that's random.

Sirius was surprised at how many people were in the pub on a Monday morning until he noticed most of them were eating breakfast. The marauder was trying not to laugh at the wizarding public being scared by a not yet twelve-year-old witch,

How long has passed since the start of term? I think she's twelve by now, because she's got a September birthday.

that was until he looked at said witch. The tip of her wand was actually glowing with power and only Harry's arms wrapped around his wife's waist was preventing Hermione from attacking.

The wand glowing with power would be a lot more impressive if that wasn't one of the first spells that children are taught at school.

Arthur Weasley knew there was more chance of his wife resisting the last piece of chocolate cake on the plate than there was of her not causing a scene here this morning, he acted quickly and decisively. He pushed Molly firmly into a seat and had a full body bind curse on her before she had time to do anything more than try to kill him with a look. He then took Ginny by the hand and walked slowly toward the Potters.
"Lord and Lady Potter, I would like to apologise on behalf of my family for all the trouble we've caused you."

Just in case you'd forgotten that this is a Noble House of Potter fic, it's a Noble House of Potter fic. I've never seen a good Noble House of Potter fic, and given that it tends to be used to turn Harry into a rampaging Gary Stu with a side order of classism I doubt I ever will. Fiction Identity postulate: I could see some mileage in Harry finding out he's the last of the Noble House of Potter and being very uneasy about the idea, but ultimately taking advantage of his new-found privilege (along with his natural talent and existing reputation) to start a revolution. Probably at Hermione's instigation, because she won't have any time at all for anyone who thinks they're better than everyone else because their ancestors were bigger bastards.

They both had liked Arthur in the last timeline but Molly had led him around by the nose, after watching what he just did both were impressed that the balding man had finally grown a pair where his wife was concerned.

They didn't like him enough not to demolish his house to plop a McMansion down there.

"Mr Weasley, I would like to apologise that you and your eldest son both lost your jobs over this incident. We wanted the guilty punished though feel it has went too far. Neither of you were involved in any of the incidents yet still had to shoulder blame."

This self-righteous bellend is supposed to be the hero.

Arthur gave Harry a slight bow of thanks, "Can I assume that's why you made the generous offer you did on our land?"
Harry shook his head, "We only offered what we considered was a fair price sir, the Potters are not the Malfoys and don't look to profit from the misfortune of others. My honour dictated the price sir."

His honour as Lord Potter, self-righteous bellend.

Luna noticed that Hermione was starring daggers at Ginny and attempted to break the ice, she grabbed her friend and pulled her forward. "This is Ginny, my best friend who's coming to live with me."
Harry and Hermione's relationship had developed over the years to the point where they could hold conversations with merely a glance, this was one of those times when that ability came in handy.

Not that we actually saw any of this relationship development.

They'd both become resigned to meeting Ginny with Luna this weekend, with her now taking up permanent residence in the Lovegood's home it became a whole different ballgame. Their intention was for Luna to spend a lot of time in their new home, a plan that since meeting Luna, both Granger parents wholeheartedly agreed with. The problem was that, largely thanks to them disrupting the timeline, Ginny would now be there as she and Luna were both going to be a package deal from now on.

I'm not sure why they're dragging Luna into their scheme. I'll grant that she and her father are probably the only people in the Potterverse who'd accept without question when Harry and Hermione tell them that they've come from the future to stop Ron from helping the Death Eaters conquer Britain after Voldemort's defeat because the only people who could stop it had Brave Sir Robin'd off to Australia, but still, she's a ten-year-old with only whatever magic she's picked up at home.

Hermione gave the slightest nod of her head, there was no way the Potters would abandon Luna so they were just going to have to put up with a ten-year-old Ginny. Both hoped that her change of environment would curb some of her less attractive qualities that appeared later in life.

What less attractive qualities are these? I don't think we've been shown or even told anything about what ITWATN!Ginny was like in the original timeline.

"Ginny, like your father and eldest brother, you were not involved in either of the incidents. Being Luna's friend is also a big plus with us so let's count this as the first time we've met. Hi, I'm Harry Potter and this is my wife Hermione."
The 'eep' that Ginny emitted only needed her elbow being submerged in a butter dish to have a happy memory slap Harry squarely in the face.

The happy memory getting to spend the rest of his holiday with the family of his best friend in the world, you mean? Anyway, they set off back to Hogwarts.

The Weasleys were at the castle gate talking with Remus, the 'new' rules meant this was as far as Bill could go. Their conversation was loudly interrupted by one Harry Potter.
"Hey Moony, how are you? Padfoot wants to know if you managed to liberate a certain piece of parchment from Filch's office yet?"
Remus was laughing, "Morning Harry and Hermione, give me a break. I've not had time."

Harry and Hermione haven't even met Remus in this timeline. Even considering that Sirius will have brought them up to speed on what's going on, they're running up to him on their first meeting greeting him as an old friend and asking for the Marauder's Map.

Hermione's entire attention was on a pair of twins who were currently trying to give the impression of not hanging on every word spoken and failing miserably. Both of them were staring at each other with expressions that were easy to read, having been caught completely off guard.

This might actually be Hermione's very first POV section.

The twin's position had left the Potters in a quandary.

Not least because there was apparently only one of them.

As far as they were concerned Molly, Percy and Ron were all black and white cases

Because Ron would be evil for no apparent reason in seven years' time, Molly committed the mortal sin of siding with her family and Percy... what did Percy do, anyway?

while the rest of the family were cloaked in varying shades of grey,

As long as it's not fifty of them.

in their original timeline Fred had already been dead before the Weasley betrayal took place. George had been in the courtroom and, while he didn't speak in their defence, he certainly didn't say anything against them either. For all they knew, George could quite possibly never have spoken another word since his twin died fighting that night.
This was an opportunity for them to make the first move, they'd dangled the 'marauder's' carrot in front of them to see if they would offer up the map. They'd given it to Harry in his third year before they knew the marauders identities, it was now up to them whether they approached the couple or not.

So basically it's a test. If Fred and George don't relinquish the Marauder's Map to the people who drove them from their home just because they happened to name-drop the actual Marauders, that makes them evil. Hurrah for protagonist-centred morality!

Harry added some sweetener, "I assume you are Bill Weasley, I would like to offer our apologies on you losing your job over this. It really isn't fair considering you weren't even in the country at the time, I offered the same apology to your father before we left the Leaky Cauldron."

At least he's not calling himself Lord Potter this time.

Ron just couldn't resist, "I'll bet you did Potter, arrange for them to lose their jobs so you can buy our house out from under us!"
Harry did well to resist killing the bastard there and then, the only thing stopping him was that it would be too quick.

He's evil because he resents losing his home. Damn that eleven-year-old boy!

"That would be a very Slytherin thing to do, wouldn't it? Since my wife and I are both Gryffindors it would appear the hat sorted you into the correct house after all."

So Ron is in Slytherin (why? ITWATN!Ron doesn't seem to be particularly ambitious, but then ITWATN!Ron doesn't seem to be much of anything) because Harry and Hermione are Slytherins? How does this begin to make sense?

All noise stopped as the Potters entered the great hall and headed straight for Neville, they had discussed what might happen on their return and were pretty confident of their predictions.
Dumbledore would act all serene, as if a couple of first years returning to school was not something a man of his importance needed to concern himself with. They were also pretty sure 'turban Tom' was going to sit back and allow them to do as much damage as they could, it was all good in his book. The doppelganger though was unaware that the Potters author had already read the book or at least he says he had and were was changing its ending.
The chances of Snape being serene or sitting back were so low you would need an electron microscope to catch a glimpse of them, the Potters weren't wrong about any of the trio.

Harry and Hermione having learned all about electron microscopes from their Hogwarts educations. Maybe they spent their downtime swanning around Australia reading science textbooks.

Emma had asked why they were going after Snape if he was on their side, it didn't take any thought on Harry's part to provide an answer. "His last act led directly to me walking alone into the forest to die, part of me wonders if he died happy knowing that.

Or, you know, defeat Voldemort. Woe is you, you couldn't godmod your way past the evil overlord.

He may have been on our side but that doesn't change the fact that he was and is an unmitigated bastard who revelled in his role of punishing us just a bit too much for keeping up appearances sake.

Ah yes, the DAYD argument.

While we don't necessarily want him dead, we certainly don't want him as part of our lives in any way, shape or form. Dumbledore falls into the same category, he's an obstacle that will try to block our path so needs to be removed."

Yes, just "remove" the "obstacles" that are two of your most powerful allies. What could possibly go wrong? Pillock.

Snape was now standing directly behind the boy, "Potter, I really don't appreciate the lies you spread about me in the newspaper. I demand an apology, with a full retraction to be printed before the week is out."

Snape by this point is just an idiot. Why does he think that confronting Harry is going to go any better now than it did last time? And much as it pains me to defend ITWATN!Harry, it was the Prophet reporter who actually named Snape; Harry himself just used a transparent codename.

Harry stood slowly and turned to face the professor, comforted by the knowledge that Hermione had his back covered.

For only as long as no shit wizards turn up.

"Professor, I don't appreciate the fact that a marked death eater not only escaped Azkaban, but is now working in an educational establishment. The headmaster said he trusted you and that was all it took for your freedom while my godfather languished in that awful place without even a trial. Just what is your 'special relationship' with the headmaster that drove him to save your arse? Did you know Gellert Grindelwald was also a 'special friend' of his? It would appear our headmaster has a taste for the dark side."
Albus was stunned by the knowledge Harry possessed, he was sure the number of people who knew that particular piece of information about him and Gellert could be counted on the fingers of one hand. He was pleased to see Minerva ask the boy some questions as he, like the rest of the hall, participated in the latest form of Hogwarts entertainment, Potter watching.
Minerva was handing them their timetables and asking the question everyone wanted answered, "Mr Potter, you seem particularly well informed for someone so young and with so little contact with our world?"

It's almost as if he's actually 18 years old from another timeline, isn't it? If this is Harry not drawing attention to himself, I'd hate to see what he'd be like if he did decide just to go balls out.

Minerva was as shocked as the rest of the hall at this morning's revelations, any book that aired Dumbledore's dirty laundry and had an interview with Harry Potter was destined to be an instant best seller. The witch didn't have the same-sex prejudices that some people possessed, she just didn't need the image of Albus and Severus together in her mind when she'd just eaten breakfast.

There actually don't seem to be that many people in the wizarding world possessing those "same-sex prejudices", millions of lazy slashfics to the contrary, because it was a complete non-issue in canon. Even Dumbledore's enemies and detractors never seemed to make anything of it.

She knew Albus had a brother and was aware there was bad blood between them, Minerva had no idea it had lasted as long or that it ran so deep.

It would have been a lot worse, but when Aberforth was all set to reveal everything, HE!Harry appeared and turned him into a rat.

Ron sat at the end of the Slytherin table, paying no attention to the gap that appeared between him and his fellow housemates. He was too busy concentrating on trying to cram in another breakfast before his first Hogwarts lesson, the fact he had no idea what or where that lesson was had no chance of permeating his brain while there was still food on the table.

Ron is evil, so anything he likes must be evil, and that includes food. Are we going to find out that the Chudley Cannons are a front for the Death Eaters next?

Harry and Hermione had a brilliant day and all the first year Gryffindors were invited back to their quarters for a look-see after dinner. Hermione was a lot more relaxed this time around without the burning need to prove herself that had alienated the young girl from her peers in the first place. As a married girl, especially with Harry as her husband, Parvati and Lavender thought she was the coolest witch in the school.

Tell me, what precisely is "cool" about underage marriage?

Harry fond himself getting along better with Dean and Seamus this time around as well as a more confident Neville. Since there was no competition with Ron determined to claim Harry Potter exclusively as his best mate, there was a much more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere between the first year Gryffindors.

What about the would-be Slytherin who's presumably taken Ron's place now Ron is in Slytherin?

Ron Weasley was currently taking an eyeball from one jar, polishing it by hand before replacing it into another jar. It was a dirty, mind-numbingly repetitive task that provided plenty of time to ponder on the root of all his troubles, the Potters.
He'd tried late last night to see if the offer of staying with loony was open to him as well, his father had killed that idea stone dead. If Ron wanted to be home schooled then his Auntie Muriel was his only other option.

Why? We never find out.

Percy Weasley was also consumed with jealousy, sitting in the common room while Oliver Wood headed out to perform his prefect rounds with Penelope Clearwater left the boy seething with rage. The twin badges of Quidditch Captain and Prefect on Oliver's robes almost made Percy physically sick with envy. He also knew exactly who to blame for him currently being badgeless, the Potters.

Because he tried to keep order when Hermione was proving how badass this author thinks she is by hexing unarmed people. I think he's been hard done to here.

His father had told him to let this be but that was not going to happen, Percy's honor demanded revenge and that's exactly what it would have. He had trouble planning it at the moment though as his imagination just kept flashing up images of Oliver and Penelope holding hands by the end of their rounds. One phrase kept repeating itself over and over in his mind, 'that should have been me!"

And breaking up Percy and Penelope (*snarl*) because you've got an ill-defined grudge against Ron is just being a dick. Finally, Fred and George turn up at Harry and Hermione's quarters with the Marauder's Map. So much for conflict.

Fred was delighted to see the wand lowered from his twin's face, "We were hoping you would let us borrow it occasionally when we're involved in things that we don't particularly want to get caught doing."
Harry's whole face had lit up, "Gentlemen, I have no problem agreeing with your request since the map was constructed solely for that purpose."

Does Harry talk like this? I think not.

George noticed Hermione still hadn't put her wand away, "You don't trust many people, do you?"
She shook her head, "Experience has taught us to be careful of whom we trust, too many people want to get to know us to serve their own agendas."

Whereas her and Harry's motivations are pure as the driven snow as they pursue their vendetta against an innocent child.

They could tell Hermione wasn't really annoyed with them, yet! There was a hint of steel in her voice that didn't rule out she might be very soon. Fred pushed ahead, "We were hoping you could introduce us to the marauders, they're rather heroes of ours."
Hermione chuckled, "Aw shit, Padfoot's head is going to get even bigger."

Nor does Hermione casually say "shit" like that, but in this fic we can just be grateful she didn't say "motherfucker".

Comments

( 77 comments — Leave a comment )
taekarado
May. 15th, 2013 11:28 pm (UTC)
so, is this fic actually going to do anything besides make godmoding harry and hermione collectively wank over the faces of the peons?

Her mother had been teaching Ginny to cook, clean and sew as if that was all there was to a witch's life, the woman had the future all mapped out for her only daughter. Find the right man, preferably the aforementioned famous Harry Potter, settle down and play house while raising her grandbabies.
funny how we never got this impression when we saw ginny in the books, isnt it? its almost like the author is shoehorning in sexism conflict to try and distract us from the real misogyny going on here.

It's going to take me all my time to instruct you on how to behave like a proper young lady without you undoing all my good work by cavorting around the countryside with that Lovegood girl. For her own sake, that child should be placed in an orphanage. Xeno Lovegood couldn't raise dandelions in his garden, far less a daughter.
im sorry, we seem to have jumped ship to a jane-austen-potter!au. when will mr rochester show up?

Her mothering instinct had kicked into high gear at first sight of the little blond waif, and yet when Luna smiled she was pure sunshine that lightened your heart.
...those two clauses dont contradict each other. why is there a 'yet'? and her smile doesnt lighten my heart, so why is the author referring to me? dammit, i hate sudden one-sentence second-person pov shifts.

The sheer emotion in her voice left Dan wondering whether to be frightened or ask the proprietor if he had a vacant bedroom to let as soon as the kids headed off to school.
oh god, now its 'family matters' instead! we're in a potter badfic singularity!!

can we just call harry 'self-centered bellend' as his full proper name from here on out? like how they use gaston to refer to christian grey in das sporking? itll help remove any pretence that this asshole is still harry potter.

What less attractive qualities are these?
you know, the obvious things like having agency, being feisty, and having the nerve to date more than one man before finding her twu wuv.
actually, its interesting that up until now the authors been using ginny as a counterpoint for his chickification of hermione, as if that automatically makes everything better. its like the criticism that he no doubt received went into his head, but a few wires were crossed along the way.

So Ron is in Slytherin (...) because Harry and Hermione are Slytherins? How does this begin to make sense?
i think hes trying to say that sabotaging someones career to buy their house is a slytherin act, but since hermione and SCBE are gryffindors, they couldnt have done that, and therefore ron is the true slytherin because he 'brought up' the plan. this conveniently ignores the fact that slytherin is not the 'evil' house, its the house of ambition, cunning, and the occasional woobification.

He may have been on our side but that doesn't change the fact that he was and is an unmitigated bastard who revelled in his role of punishing us just a bit too much for keeping up appearances sake.
a bit like you may be on the side of good, but that doesnt change the fact that youre a self-centered bellend coward who will godmode from behind his wife at every opportunity.

There actually don't seem to be that many people in the wizarding world possessing those "same-sex prejudices", millions of lazy slashfics to the contrary, because it was a complete non-issue in canon. Even Dumbledore's enemies and detractors never seemed to make anything of it.
to be fair, the reason this is the case might be because rowling introduced the idea essentially as a retcon, so there was no chance for it TO take root.
szaleniec1000
May. 15th, 2013 11:43 pm (UTC)
so, is this fic actually going to do anything besides make godmoding harry and hermione collectively wank over the faces of the peons?

Nope.

its like the criticism that he no doubt received went into his head, but a few wires were crossed along the way.

I wouldn't be too sure about the criticism. I left a review (nothing too vitriolic, just calling out a "shit wizard" managing to overpower Hermione twice for the plot hole it is) and felt like the lone voice in the wilderness. One thing that does both amuse and infuriate me in equal measure, though: the single moment that's produced more gushing in the FF.net reviews than any other in the fic? Totally plagiarised.

to be fair, the reason this is the case might be because rowling introduced the idea essentially as a retcon, so there was no chance for it TO take root.

I did pick up on the subtext in Deathly Hallows, but whether that was just because I'd spent a lot of time in online fandom I don't know.

Edited at 2013-05-15 11:49 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - sith_droideka - May. 17th, 2013 02:32 am (UTC) - Expand
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undying_embers
May. 15th, 2013 11:32 pm (UTC)
The sheer emotion in her voice left Dan wondering whether to be frightened or ask the proprietor if he had a vacant bedroom to let as soon as the kids headed off to school. He was currently leaning heavily toward the second option, this was a side of his wife he'd never seen before and he liked it, Dan liked it a lot!

Um, okay, that's random.


So the only reason for putting this micron of effort to make a woman seem badass was to sexualize her. Fantastic.

The tip of her wand was actually glowing with power and only Harry's arms wrapped around his wife's waist was preventing Hermione from attacking.

Dan wrapped his arm around her waist
He pushed Molly firmly into a seat and had a full body bind curse on her before she had time to do anything more than try to kill him with a look.

Those silly wimmunz, always letting their emotions getting the best of them and needing to be tied down by their big strong men amirite.
szaleniec1000
May. 15th, 2013 11:43 pm (UTC)
The author manages to be even more sexist when he's trying not to be. The fail, it is epic.
(no subject) - undying_embers - May. 17th, 2013 01:52 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - szaleniec1000 - May. 17th, 2013 05:03 am (UTC) - Expand
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sith_droideka
May. 17th, 2013 02:28 am (UTC)
This fanfic is just so painful.

And it's not funny kinds of painful like the kind I keep posting on tumblr (prettyflyforaciswhitemale.tumblr.com, if you're interested).
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:56 am (UTC)
Followed! (You'll recognise me.) And it is, isn't it? It's not as bad as Hogwarts Exposed, but it's closer to that than I originally expected it to be. I was expecting something more along the lines of The Last War.
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:12 am (UTC)
She had her eyes well and truly opened by her mother's outrageous reaction to Harry Potter, though surprisingly it was Hermione Potter who drastically changed Ginny's outlook on the world.

So drastically, in fact, that Ginny was thinking more like an 18 year-old woman as opposed to an 11 year-old girl!

ITWATN!Hermione is SO AWESOME, YOU GUYS!!!
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:16 am (UTC)
And Paradigm of Uncertainty is indeed excellent. Unfortunately, this is ITWATN.

Isn't it always funny to see these fanfics that supposedly are inspired by PoU, like this tripe and Hogwarts Exposed, so utterly fail at grasping what made it so good?
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:31 am (UTC)
I don't think he was inspired by PoU: he says in his profile that he got into fanfic in 2007, by which point it was old news. I was just having a bit of fun with how that description evokes PoU far more than ITWATN.
(no subject) - Jeremiah Smith - May. 17th, 2013 06:25 am (UTC) - Expand
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Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:18 am (UTC)
I know pre-reform defamation law was a clusterfuck, but I still don't think Arthur and Molly could be dragged up for something Percy said.

I've heard English libel laws are incredibly scary(I don't know much about them, so if you could enlighten me). Even so, I'm not really supportive of them being reformed to America's type of libel/slander laws.

Here, they're ridiculously lax.
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:27 am (UTC)
Here's the case for reform: the new Defamation Act puts some of those suggestions into effect.
(no subject) - Jeremiah Smith - May. 17th, 2013 06:28 am (UTC) - Expand
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Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:22 am (UTC)
The author really seems to like Luna considering that, again, she was introduced in a book he hates.

Has that twat ever specified just WHY he hates Order, Prince, and Hallows so much?
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:29 am (UTC)
Probably because he was overinvested in Harry/Hermione.
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Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:23 am (UTC)
Sirius had taken a fair bit of ribbing as 'Stubby', he was so shocked by Luna's autograph request that the marauder let slip he'd used his likeness of the star to woo the 'occasional' young lady.

Are they lampshading him being played by the impeccably handsome Gary Oldman or something?
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:35 am (UTC)
I think it's just Luna thinking that Sirius is Stubby Boardman.
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Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:34 am (UTC)
His honour as Lord Potter, self-righteous bellend.

And what fucking honor, might I ask?! Generous purchase price or not, this fucker FORCED A POOR FAMILY INTO DESTITUTION AND HOMELESSNESS!!

Just...GAH!
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:36 am (UTC)
Wait till you get to the part where Ron is portrayed as evil for resenting that!
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:37 am (UTC)
the only people who could stop it had Brave Sir Robin'd off to Australia

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZwuTo7zKM8
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:48 am (UTC)
They missed the bit later on where he arrives in the swamp with Arthur and the Knights Who Until Recently Said Ni and they're still singing the "running away" song. XD
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:39 am (UTC)
What less attractive qualities are these?

I'm guessing she went the Last War route and became an EVIL FAT PERSON offscreen prior to Ron the Shit Wizard overpowering Hermione twice in a row while failing to properly Body-Bind two Muggles.

Jesus Christ, that sentence is so utterly ridiculous.

Edited at 2013-05-17 05:39 am (UTC)
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:41 am (UTC)
Even considering that Sirius will have brought them up to speed on what's going on, they're running up to him on their first meeting greeting him as an old friend and asking for the Marauder's Map.

Why would it be in Filch's office to begin with, considering that the Twins had been carrying it for years before passing it on to Harry...
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 05:42 am (UTC)
That's indeed the point, apparently.
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:45 am (UTC)
Harry did well to resist killing the bastard there and then, the only thing stopping him was that it would be too quick.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufsf_-a_H9Q

GO FUCK YOURSELF, ROBST!!
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:50 am (UTC)
His last act led directly to me walking alone into the forest to die, part of me wonders if he died happy knowing that.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYQdogPMuRc
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 06:00 am (UTC)
It's like... how do you even get there from what's in the book?
(no subject) - Jeremiah Smith - May. 17th, 2013 06:32 am (UTC) - Expand
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 05:56 am (UTC)
Even Dumbledore's enemies and detractors never seemed to make anything of it.

To be fair, it was never out in the open. Hell, the only indication we ever got of Dumbledore being gay was when Rowling outed him. And, personally, it still doesn't really make that much sense.

If anything, he came off like Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory: Asexual and probably never really gave a flying **** about sex, even though Rowling did say he was in love with Grindelwald.

And I just LOVE how we're supposed to be cheering for Harry Potter forcibly outing a gay man in front of the entire school!
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 06:01 am (UTC)
We're supposed to be cheering for Harry doing all kinds of shit that's far worse than the informed villainy of the supposed baddies. (No, Ron's actions in Chapter 1 don't count because they haven't happened yet.)
(no subject) - taekarado - May. 17th, 2013 08:18 am (UTC) - Expand
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Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 06:01 am (UTC)
Harry fond himself getting along better with Dean and Seamus this time around as well as a more confident Neville.

Who knew that all Neville really needed, all along, was a short, generic peptalk from this gobshite...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYQdogPMuRc

A long, interesting plot arc in which a scared, vulnerable young boy becomes a hero in his own right next to the main character?!

PUH-LEASE. That's just for those utterly incompetent authors like JK Rowling or George Martin!

Edited at 2013-05-17 06:01 am (UTC)
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 06:17 am (UTC)
And according to TVTropes, he ends up paired with (of all people) Millicent Bulstrode. Who I'm guessing is closer to her canon self than the waifish prophetess of Deserving.
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 06:05 am (UTC)
Since there was no competition with Ron determined to claim Harry Potter exclusively as his best mate, there was a much more relaxed and comfortable atmosphere between the first year Gryffindors.

...WHAT!?

Just...what in the-!?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=752tGFuihzM
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 06:16 am (UTC)
I don't get how that works either. With Ron in Slytherin, it stands to reason that one of the first-year Slytherins would have been Sorted into Gryffindor instead to make up the numbers.
(no subject) - Jeremiah Smith - May. 17th, 2013 06:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - szaleniec1000 - May. 17th, 2013 06:56 am (UTC) - Expand
Jeremiah Smith
May. 17th, 2013 06:08 am (UTC)
"Gentlemen, I have no problem agreeing with your request since the map was constructed solely for that purpose."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvFO5JWNpCY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVBKKZctLpQ

Does Harry talk like this? I think not.

I thought Harry was British, mate. As we all know, ALL Brits talk like posh aristocrats!

Edited at 2013-05-17 06:09 am (UTC)
szaleniec1000
May. 17th, 2013 06:13 am (UTC)
And this author is from the UK, so he has even less excuse than Neil et al.
(no subject) - szaleniec1000 - May. 17th, 2013 06:29 am (UTC) - Expand
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warlock_female
May. 17th, 2013 10:50 pm (UTC)
I think you're looking at this story all wrong. You think it' about two people who are so in love that they go abck in time and right all wrongs.

What it is really about is how one family is driven insane because two powerful people take over everything and decide to make that family's life living hell.
zelda_queen
May. 18th, 2013 02:20 am (UTC)
"Arthur Weasley knew there was more chance of his wife resisting the last piece of chocolate cake on the plate than there was of her not causing a scene here this morning, he acted quickly and decisively. He pushed Molly firmly into a seat and had a full body bind curse on her before she had time to do anything more than try to kill him with a look. He then took Ginny by the hand and walked slowly toward the Potters.
'Lord and Lady Potter, I would like to apologise on behalf of my family for all the trouble we've caused you.'"

Mother of God, how many ways does that snippet alone fail?

1.) Bashing of Mrs. Weasley being a fat pig, because it's not like there are many different reasons for a person to be plump. Nope! It's always because that person snarffles down junk food! >(

2.) Lovely sexism - of COURSE Mr. Weasley plonks his hysterical wife into a seat and uses magic to forcibly restrain her! You just need a firm hand when dealing with those wimminz, don't you know?

3.) No idea how spells work. The full body-bind makes a person stiff like a board! There's no way you can use it on Mrs. Weasley while she's staying sitting in a chair.

4.) Lovely bit of classim there. I know it's been running for as much as the sexism, but a lower class man humbling apologizing and kissing nobleman ass because how dare his wife be angry at the people who bought and tore down their house? Oh, THAT doesn't have unfortunate implications at all!

5.) "Apologize" is spelled wrong.
Jeremiah Smith
May. 18th, 2013 05:41 am (UTC)
I thought you were British, ZQ...
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